AlabamaSlama

When Alabama-Slama woke up that Sunday morning he felt like the big bad freight train had rammed itself up his rectum. He got out of his bed and headed for the toilet as one always does. On the way there he saw his own shadow on the wall and a great huge big thing hanging between his legs. 'oh my god' he thought, 'my wish has come true.' He was wrong. When he looked at himself in profile he realised that this great huge big thing was hanging from his backside. Instantly he started pulling, tossing and turning, trying to get this unwelcome new part of his body out. But all for nothing! This would certainly be a job that had to be done before breakfast, so he thought of a plan. He got himself a rope; tied one end to a doorknob and the other to his new bodypart and legged it. It gave him a new sense of the word "excruciating" pain. He fell down to his knees, with his tail dragging to the floor and lay there for a bit and sobbed. He had to think of another plan and that instantly. Alabama-Slama lived on the third floor in a block of flats and rarely one gets to use that fact to ones advantage but he was about to. He opened the balcony door, extended the rope and off he went flying, the only flying thing with a tail since the dinosaurs. The rope ended, swung him into the window of the flat below and broke it, cutting the rope and down to the ground he headed, naked with a tail. 'Fucking hell, man!' he shouted out so everyone came to look upon what had happened. He felt like a million eyes had watched him walk around the house and back up to his flat. So, what to do? He hanged himself! With loosening of the bowels a rubber arm fell to the floor, its hand; the clenched fist of communism.